Sexual Harassment at Work

How is sexual harassment defined? Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination.The legal definition of sexual harassment is "unwelcome verbal, visual, or physical conduct of a sexual nature that is severe or pervasive and affects working conditions or creates a hostile work environment."

Who can be victim of sexual harassment? The victim can be any gender. The harasser can be any gender. The harasser does not have to be of the opposite sex. Everyone should know their legal rights when it comes to sexual harassment. Unlawful sexual harassment may occur without economic injury to or discharge of the victim. The harasser's conduct must be unwelcome.

What are the Legally Recognized Types of Sexual Harassment? There are two types of sexual harassment that are legally recognized. Quid pro quo sexual harassment occurs when an employee gets on the promotion track or even gets to keep his/her job is based on if the employee submitted to or rejected sexual advances or other types of inappropriate sexual comments.This type of sexual harassment occurs when a co-worker or supervisor in the workplace makes sexual advances or comments to an employee that, while not affecting promotions or the future of the employee's job, makes the working environment of the employee offensive and hostile.

What are my rights if I am sexually harassed? Tell the offender you find their conduct offensive. Inform your employer that you are being sexually harassed and follow the company policy on sexual harassment. Also, you may want to seek the advice of attorney. If your employer fails to take the proper corrective action you must file a complaint with the Equal Employrment Commission (EEOC). A EEOC complaint must be filed before you can file a law suit.

How is a hostile work environment defined? It occurs when unwelcome conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual's work performance, creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working environment.

When should you report sexual harassment? If the conduct is severe enough that it occurred only once, may warrant reporting. If the conduct is less severe, but occurred over an extended period of time, that too may be sufficient. However, you should always inform the harasser the you find the conduct offensive.

How can a victim be harassed at work by a non-employee? Employers may be responsible for the sexual harassment of a non-employee if the employer or supervisor knew or should have known of the harassment, failed to take immediate and appropriate action, and had some degree of control over the non-employee.

Rejected right over the edge

Yes, that is right. I finally had a major mental breakdown. Complete with a visit to a psychiatrists office with follow-up visits scheduled. All because I tried to force men who did not want me, to want me which set myself up for rejection and when the 4th one rejected me, it was more than my heart, soul and mind could bare and I lost it. Now, I am truly on the road to a recovery but this time with the tools I need which really gives me hope. My hope is that we discover why I have this bottomless pit of hunger for being loved by a man and how to fill that hole with whatever needs to be there. I really am hoping to find out how to have a positive and long lasting relationship or how to live a fulfilled life without one. Whichever way God wants it, I need to be prepared to handle it and right now, I am not, I realize that I am not and am very willing to try to figure all of this out. Wish me luck.

I hope you all are doing great!

Love,

Lucy

Lets Play Catch-Up

Hi there all you love bloggers! Seeing as how this is my very first post here, I thought I’d catch you up on oh, say, the last 18 months of my life. Without all of that, it can be hard to see why I appreciate what I’ve got going on now–so lets step back to January of 2008. I had been single for about a year and a half, maybe even a little more. I was 22 at the time and had been in and out of several relationships, none of them lasting very long, and none of them getting very serious. I had dated plenty of guys (which may be surprising considering I’m a plus size girl) but most of them only wanted one thing–sex, and thats not what I was interested in. So needless to say, I, like thousands of other girls, was looking for ‘the one’. I had been living with my cousin at the time and her boyfriend knew a single guy that he worked with, so he decided to set us up. I met Mike a few days after talking to him on the phone and things went pretty well on our first date and we decided to keep seeing each other. He lived about an hour and a half away so we would text and talk on the phone during the week and since he was only off every other weekend, he would usually stay at my place on my days off. He was willing to pay for things which was nice, but it pretty much ended there. Days would go by and I wouldn’t hear from him. I’d leave him message after message and get nothing in return. My birthday came around in March and he did actually show up for that, but then that was the last time I ever saw him. He pretty much fell off the face of the earth. My cousins boyfriend still saw him at work, but he wouldn’t really talk to him. Mike broke so many promises and took my virginity and I then I never heard from him again. Slighty heartbroken, it was a few months before I was ready to take the leap again. I posted an ad on Craigslist and waited. I met one guy from there who I dated for about two weeks, but he was such a creep, I told him it was over. He was always trying to feel me up and I was afraid he was going to rape me. I moved after I left him and he found out where. One day when I was leaving to go to work, I found brand new 4 in bolts behind my tires. Had I not seen them, I would have had 4 very flat tires. Then in the beginning of October 2008, I received a response from Ryan. We chated online for a few weeks and decided to meet. Things clicked and before you knew it we were living together, although looking back I know that was one of my biggest mistakes. We moved way to fast and I didn’t do my homework before I allowed him to move in. Things went great for a while and then I found out he was bi-polar, which I could live with, but he refused to take meds for it. I also found out after the fact that he was in jail and into drugs (just my luck). He didn’t have his own cell phone when we were dating so I stupidly gave him one to use. For some reason that I fail to see now, I had loved him with all my heart and was willing to do everything for him. He was unemployed and couldn’t afford anything so I paid the house payment, utilities, paid for food, gas in his car, his bowling league, gave him that cell phone, and more. I guess I was just so happy to be in a relationship I didn’t care at the time. Looking back, I don’t know how I was so happy. He never wanted to spend time with me, he would stay up and play on the computer all night and sleep all day. He was always in a bad mood. What the hell was I thinking?? Then in February (after he had finally gotten a job and been working there for a couple weeks) he wouldn’t come home until 4 in the morning a few nights a week. He said he was out with friends, and I accepted that–until I got the cell phone bill. He had been texting an out of area number all day everyday and had gone over $200 over his texting plan. I found this out the day before Valentines Day and was going to confront him that day, but he never came home. I called and texted with no response. I did a little digging and found out that the number that he was texting and calling was girl he worked with–he was having an affair. He came home the next day (Valentines Day) to tell me he was leaving me. I was heartbroken and devastated. Not to mention as a result of everything I had given up for him, I was losing everything I had worked for. Once he had gotten a job he was supposed to start contributing and paying me back, which I never saw one cent of. So, I ended up losing my house that I loved, was thousands of dollars in debt, not to mention he stole some of my valuable things when he moved out. I cried for days after the fact, although now I really just can’t understand what I was so upset about. I wasn’t really losing anything thing–he took everything I had, what was left to lose? I was so physically and emotionally drained from this relationship. I quickly went from heartbroken to furious when I found out about all his infidelity and how his best friend looked me in the face and lied to me. I don’t really know if it was my being furious or wanting a boyfriend so badly that I went back to craiglist. Fail me once, shame on you–fail me twice, shame on me. On February 21st, 2009 I came across a male listing–”Country Boys Seeks Female”. I read it and was interested and sent a replying inquiring more about him. On February 23rd, I received a reply back. For a month and a half Country Boy Cory and I sent daily emails back and fourth and also talked on yahoo instant messanger. After that month and half, he asked me out, and I said yes. We had our first date on April 10th. My type has always been the tall boys, but I was unprepared for just how tall Cory was when I opened the door to my apartment. I’m what I consider to be average height (5’5”) and Cory is 6’9”, almost a foot and a half taller than me! I dont’ know where I intitally thought the relationship was going to go, but I think I was unprepared for how fast I would fall in love with the farm boy from Apple River…

To be continued….

Sweetheart Sara

Getting Up To Speed

Hello fellow bloggers. In my last post I had left off right when I met Cory, my farm boy from Apple River. We had our first date on April 10th, of this year. Like most, I was incredibly nervous and overly worried that Cory wouldn’t like me because I’m plus sized. The fact that I couldn’t get ‘Unbeautiful’ by Lesley Roy out of my head didn’t help either–that song had become my theme song after Ryan left me. I felt like that song was written just for me and couldn’t help but have tears in my eyes every time it was on the radio. Of course this song was most popular right around that time and we all know how radio stations overplay the current hits, so needless to say, I heard it non stop. Getting back to Cory, I would say our first day was pretty average–we went to dinner and a movie and he just dropped me off at my place afterwards. No kiss goodnight, just a quick goodbye. I wouldn’t say the first date was overly great or anything but I knew enough to know I wanted to see them again.

As if things aren’t awkward enough on a second date, I happened to have a friend getting married the next weekend and reluctantly asked him to attend with me–after all, who wants to go to a wedding alone? Much to my surprise, he said yes–then and their I know he was different than most guys. We continued to talk on yahoo messenger every day, getting to know each other more and more. I came to know just how different he was from anyone I’d ever dated. He had never been on a date before me, never had a real relationship and despite all that, he knew how to treat a girl.

Every weekend since we met with the exception of one (I was sick with a kidney stone, throwing up nonstop and didn’t want him to see me like that) he came to Dubuque (an hour away) to be with me. Everytime he came it got harder and harder to say goodbye. Some nights he wouldn’t leave for home until 3 in the morning. Finally after a couple months he began spending the night with me. When it was time for me to move from my apartment, he began spending the whole weekend. No matter how much time I get to spend with him, its never enough!

Sorry to end here bloggers, but its time for me to sign off for the night! I’ll get into more detail next time!

Sweet dreams and peace to all!

Sweetheart Sara

Let me introduce myself

I am new to this website and am excited to get started on my blog! I am hoping that what I have to say not only helps others, but that what they have to say will also help me. I am very willing to share every aspect of my life, but upon doing so, I will attempt to remain anonymous and everyone will be given their own nicknames. 

I am a single mother. I have been a single mother since June of 2006. It’s been very difficult for me from the beginning because although I was primarily a stay at home mom prior to my separation (I only worked part time), I never knew the amount of strength that it would take me to get through the trials that I have found waiting for me on this side of things.

I left my husband of seven years in June 2006 after finding out in May that he had been having a long term affair on me. I moved myself and my children to Idaho in June 2006. That was when we officially separated. I finally gave up every effort to make things work in December 2006. I went through all of 2007, struggling to make sense of my life. Going back and forth between dating and trying to make things work with him. My heart really wasn’t into doing either. After debating for a year about what to do, I finally decided to just take some “me” time and some time to be the mother to my children that had, through all of this, been missing for them. On April 1, 2008, I filed for divorce. In September 2006, I was able to finalize the divorce by default. It seemed that things would start getting better. However this began the constant cycle of him claiming that he missed me, that he wished we could make things work “for the sake of the children”, and that he “just wanted ‘us’ back again.” Talk that he still continues to this day.

Thus begins the newest chapter in my life. The ‘dating’ single mother…

I recently got back in touch with an old friend of mine, let’s just call him My Cute Boy. We have been friends through all of high school, crushing on each other back and forth through high school and until we both were engaged to be married. For nearly six years we never had a time where we were both ‘single’ together. Upon us both marrying, we lost touch for nearly seven years. Now, we are both divorced. We got back in touch and upon talking again, instantly hit things off as if we had never been separated, and began spending all our time together catching up on the seven years we had been apart. We started spending quite a bit of time together in deep conversations about everything, telling each other all the ins and outs of our respective divorces (his being much, much worse than I ever dreamed a divorce could be), all night telephone conversations, talking about things that bothered us, dinner, movies, and the confusing part….although we follow all the notions of ‘dating’ he continued to claim that we were not dating. In January 2006 I moved down to Utah and he arranged for him and three of his friends to come up to Idaho and move me and my boys down to Utah.

Then finally (six months after getting back in touch), after being on the phone for nearly three hours one night, he came out and asked me if I had ever thought about dating him. He told me that he really wanted to start ‘dating’ me and that he believed we should give it a try. Every single one of our mutual friends claimed that it was ‘obvious’ and that it was ‘inevitable’. No one was surprised by the fact that he finally put a name to what we were doing. The first night we spent together he told me that ‘I was everything that he was not’ he told me that ‘I filled in all his holes’ he said he thought that ‘We would be really good at this’ and that ‘We fit each other perfectly.’ He also told me that there was no one that he trusted enough to completely be himself around he said there was something about himself that he kept from everyone, one friend he didn’t be opinionated around, etc. and so I asked him what part of himself he didn’t allow me to see and after a very long pause, he replied that he ‘hadn’t figured that out yet because he trusted me with his emotions, his opinions, his true personality and generally himself.’ A mere three weeks later, he decided that we needed to stick to being just friends because he was afraid that we would ruin our friendship, he wanted to just be ‘friends that hung out together an awful lot’ and he had figured out what part of himself he didn’t allow me to see completely, his intimate side. And thus began the most dreadful confusion.

He began hanging out with me and my closest friends. Ones that he didn’t know. And every time he would make many comments that led everyone to believe that he was truly interested in being more than just my friend. My very good friend and her husband, let’s just call them My S.O. Friends, were with My Cute Boy and I at dinner and her hubby stated that since I was going to be moving back to Idaho, ‘There would now be something to *DO* in Idaho.’ My Cute Boy responded saying, ‘I’d go to Idaho to *DO* that!’ And the rest of us all almost blew our respective drinks straight through our noses. Thus begins the incredible confusion that has started my life with My Cute Boy, because to make a very long story short, I am completely head over heels in love with my very best friend…My Cute Boy.

Dying Love

My Love,

How many letters have I written trying to reach you?

Holding back all I fell for you and the love I NEED to share with you is changing me!

I am increasingly having difficulty concentrating on daily tasks and my spirit is becomming more depressed.

My loving and caring heart (for other people) is becoming numb with each passing day.

I must know what you want from this relationship… NOW!!!

As much as it is uncomfortable for you to speak to me, you simply must (in some way) explain what this relationship means to you.

I must know your hopes and desires for our future.

I MUST SEE A INTEREST IN SEEKING HEALTH FOR YOURSELF !!!

I MUST know what “Love” you want and need from me and what you do not… YOU HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR ME !!!!!

Whatever I have done in the past; trying to bring you closer to me and building our love, has either been wrong or you have simply forgotten what my love used to mean to you.

I honestly feel you have replaced me as your husband with either the medications you jealously protect or a general lack of interest in me.

WHATEVER IT IS… you must respond to me. I must know if you wish to regain what we used to have or if you want something else entirely!

Time is vicious and waits for no one. Our lives are passing us by and we are just watching it from the sidelines!

All we have to do is remember what we mean to each other; how BLESSED we are to have this love; and start pouring it out on each other !!!!!!!!!!!!

I Love and Miss You!

Yo Man!!

How can this be?

I have discovered part of what it is about My Cute Boy that makes me feel the way that I do about him.

For the first time in my life, for the first relationship in my life, be it friends or lovers, I have found someone who is secure enough within themselves that they encourage me to be strong, independent and successful. For the first time I am with someone who does not anger easily, who isn’t jealous when I talk to other people, who doesn’t feel I need to be the quiet and supportive housewife that stands behind everything that they do. I have found someone who wants me to be exactly everything that I am. Strong, independent, social and outgoing.

My Cute Boy has been texting me all day while he is at work. This is very unusual for him as he usually is so absorbed in his work that he doesn’t even look at his cell phone until he gets off, which is a very positive thing due to the work he does. But today has been extremely slow. I was out doing yard work and told him that I needed someone to help come take care of my tree because I am afraid of heights. He told me I should get over my fear and take care of my tree. I told him that there were two things that I could not seem to get over my fear of, heights and grasshoppers. And he replied, ‘Why not fix that and be able to do anything?’ When I told him no way, he replied that he thought it was ‘endearing I was able to do anything but heights and grasshoppers’. Someone who wants me to always try to improve myself and yet is happy with the way I am? What is this??

Found some interesting information

I’m still working my way through this stuff, but I found a book online that was called “Men Made Easy.” I have started reading it and it seems to be a lot of things that I have known all along and just have refused, or unknowingly haven’t, put into action. I thought I would share this great find from Kara Oh and let everyone know about this book. Perhaps as I start attempting to implement these suggestions in my daily life, things will start to change for me.

Anyway, here’s to hoping right?! 

New House, New Start

So, it’s been two weeks (more or less, I am terrible with specifics. The good thing about having our anniversary on the 1st of each month is that it’s impossible to forget!) since Alex and I moved in together. It is going great and the best thing(s?) without a doubt is falling asleep with her everynight and waking up with her every morning. Another good thing is that she now has two weeks off work before going into another role so that means lots of cuddling up on the sofa, cooking lovely meals, having mini adventures around London and sexy times. The bad thing of course, with too much sexy time, is that I now have friction burns and am out of action for the next few days, putting on a brave face but inside screaming with the panic that I will never feel pleasure again.

I am not going to lie to you and say that we have a relationship without arguments. On the contrary. We are possibly the most schizophrenic couple with our changeable and slapstick behaviour that is reminiscent of school yard tactics of giving the girl or boy you fancy a dead leg or cauliflower ear, bully! I personally have a rather cruel joy in jumping out on people at the most unsuspecting moments which is why I now have a bruise the size of a 50 pence piece on my groin. Alex was carrying cereal bowls into the kitchen, I jumped from behind a door and shouted “Boo” and then felt like I had been kicked by a horse. I’m not ashamed to say that I cried. We have also bickered about food. Alex takes my food up to me in bed but when I cooked her a bacon sandwich she came downstairs so I said “It will be ready in a minute!” She took this as “It will be ready in a minute, my sweet fair maiden, do please thus put your pleasant physique back in to thine fine bed of feathers and clouds and sunshine flowers upstairs so I shalt bestow on you this most succulent of bacon sandwiches.” which is NOT what I said at all! She then told me she was going upstairs to brush her teeth, which I took as “I will be back down in a minute.” which is not what she said either….

Her cup of tea went cold.

Her sandwich went cold.

I got grumpy.

She was waiting expectantly in bed.

I stomped upstairs to ask why she hadn’t come down. She asked why hadn’t I brought up two scolding hot cups of tea and two plates of bacon sandwiches. I questioned her eye sight and whether she saw four arms on me instead of two. She threatened to throw her sandwich in the bin. I said do as you please. She microwaved it because it was “ruined” and ironically ate it after having it zapped with radioactive cells.

There is also my forgetfulness which makes me feel very terrible indeed. Yesterday we were meant to go see an ice hockey game after I finished work. It was a busy shift and my mind was blank as to what I had to do in the evening. To rub it in I thoughtlessly had a drink and chat with my work mates when we had finished before heading home to see Alex looking beautiful yet pissed off. She coldly gave me a hug and explained we had missed the game. She then asked if we were going to the zoo the next day and I had to tell her I had a wine tasting course at work. This was followed by me crying and saying I am a horrible person to be with and was very sorry. I hate letting her down. She’s my everything.

We are also a very competitive couple. Alex loves to win everything and be the best at everything. She was in all of her sports teams at school and was known for chipping ankle bones and nearly blinding a friend of hers by booting the ball in her face. I meanwhile, am a far more docile yet sly kettle of fish. I do not particularly care about winning, merely beating the people who are smug with their constant success. So games like Buzz on the playstation are more of an all out war. Play fights also tend to go too far, nearly always with Alex winning. She has good moves like bending my fingers backwards and putting my hand into a vice like lock then cracking all of my unwilling knuckles.

Our relationship is coming up to it’s ninth month but we dated exclusively for a few months before that. We both love reminiscing on the first time we met. She says the world stopped the first time she saw me under the spotlight. No, I wasn’t on stage singing Shirley Basey songs, I was just well placed in a darkly lit bar. I remember our first shy conversation and the way my words got all tongue tied in my mouth because she was stroking my inner leg and staring at me intensely. Alex is not usually like that with people. Her past relationships were a sucession of people asking her out, her shrugging and saying “O.K” and then it not really going anywhere because she wasn’t really interested. Our first kiss was amazing and we hated leaving each other so instead text and rang each other constantly. I couldn’t believe my luck. In this day and age it is very hard to walk into a bar and meet the person you will fall in love with and want to stay with to the extent you can’t imaging them not being around.

Recently she met my family and they love her. She is very good at first impressions with people, is very vocal, polite yet cheeky and to put in a cliche “can charm the birds off the trees.” My friend says she has “The X Factor” and I would agree. I meanwhile, am more introverted but have been told I have impeccable manners and make a good host when meeting new people. I love our differences as a couple. It makes us work.

Now going to make my love some breakfast. Ta ta.

News from the Ex

The ex called today…man was that fun. Left me in tears for the majority of the day. He pretty much informed me that I never do anything right and that he ALWAYS pays for my financial mistakes. I guess that spending $200 that I didn’t really have on my oldest son’s dental work is a bad financial decision. He doesn’t seem to grasp that he is supposed to pay for 80% of all unpaid medical, dental, vision expenses and that he is supposed to also pay 80% of my work related childcare expenses as well. He makes SO much more money than I do that it’s completely ridiculous. I’m enrolled to go back to school, I start up again in October and have about nine months left until I finish my Master’s degree. At which time I plan to go on to get my PhD. This was construed in his mind as sacrificing the children for the sake of MY improvement. Why doesn’t he see that if I can make more money, this makes the children’s life easier, nicer, more comfortable? Why can’t he see that I am doing this not only for myself, but for the children as well?

He knows how much of an emotional person that I am, and sometimes I feel like he uses that to try to control me, or manipulate me. The thing is, he hasn’t been a manipulative person in the past and I don’t understand why this seems to be his new MO…I guess his changes have gone beyond the surface at this point. It’s sad that someone I have spent so many years of my life with now is a total and complete stranger to me.

Long Island Iced teas, without the island…

Yesterday I awoke in our little loft converted bedroom, still with friction burns and still feeling worried about my embarassing predicament. After a shower I went downstairs to find my love watching “Myth Busters”. I don’t know if you have ever watched it but it is a fascinating show in which, au naturelle, they bust myths. They do this usually with the help of a dead pig which will then be blown to pieces, as though having a stun gun shoved up its arse to frazzle it’s insides wasn’t humiliating enough.

We decided to go out. As usual an hour and a half later we were leaving the house. The problem was that I had noticed a mild bubbling in my tummy that was flirting with the idea of gushing out of me. After five minutes of walking I shook my head, pleaded defeat and said I would have to go home. Alex tutted and said “It’s just like going out with my Nan.” Wow, the old bowel and bladder took a beating on their pride right about there. With the innards feeling bruised I left her but kept turning round to see her still standing there watching me and smiling. She loves how I walk. I don’t know why.

I got to Sainsbury’s and shopped for lasagne and lager shandy’s to surprise Alex with when she got back from sorting her phone out. It has been broken forever. Well, by forever, I mean a week. I then rushed home, relieved myself, and then realised I had forgotten the mince. Cue journey two to Sainsbury’s.

I love cooking. I went to University having never tried brocolli or mushrooms, with a complete inability to cook anything other than processed foods. It was with the patience of my friends that I gradually improved and gained confidence which is good because girls love a good cook! Along with good looks and vast wealth… but two out of three aint bad as Meatloaf sang.

After our lasagne we went to our sort of new local for a long island iced tea. There was an annoying scruff bag boy behind the bar who, with his Jonny Borell hair and cardigan on top of a twee checkered shirt, clearly thought he could:

A) Sing

and B) crack hilarious jokes VERY LOUDLY.

When he passed us Alex gave him an almost teenaged look of disgust which made me laugh. She’s so cute. We decided to have a little serious discussion about the house and whether we want to stay there. Alex said “I like the house. I love our room. I love our street. But don’t like the area.” I said more or less the same. Plus the house mates are a far cry from what I am used to. I used to live with my student best friends. Now I live with rich professionals which leaves me feeling like some infantile peasant that should be shining their shoes. Alex said she wants to take me somewhere hot this November but I don’t want her paying for me. I am flat broke due to my lack of full time work and my constant confusion as to whether or not I should do a Masters.

We then spontaneously went ice skating, holding hands most of the time. Neither of us fell over, but a girl doing the moonwalk who shockingly didn’t have eyes in the back of her head nearly smashed into me. Talented idiot. We had been told bad things about the ice rink but don’t believe the hype. The few rude gyal’s there wouldn’t even let go of the wall and at one point Alex held hands with one to help her along. Two hours later we went home feeling refreshed to have cuddles and watch “The Life of David Gale”. I’d recommend it.

That’s about it for now.

Can those ‘dating rules’ really be trusted?

Sometimes with all these so called “rules” of dating, I must admit I can be completely confused about what the heck I’m supposed to be doing. I also get confused when it comes to things such as telling if he “likes me” or if he’s “into me” or whatever it’s being called nowadays. And believe me in my quest for the knowledge to decipher everything that is going on in the mind of those men that I do decide to date, I have done so much research and book reading about the subject that if I could figure out the contradictions from book to book, I could write my own book.

So really here is the thing. As I have discovered in my continual quest, it is said that men who are interested in a woman will go out of their way to contact her. They will go out of their way to be with her. They will do all these amazing things that woman WANT them to do. They are attentive and caring, they want you to talk to them for endless hours, they never want to leave your side because they just can’t get enough, and on and on. But am I dating a human here? Or am I dating many clones of a single human? Can a guy really just be too busy with work and his life that even though he wants to call me, he just doesn’t have the time to call? What if this same guy meets all the ‘requirements’ of every other thing?

Here’s my confusion. As I stated prior, or maybe I didn’t, I have a ‘friend’ who I am very interested in. We have both been through horrible divorces and upon him one time initiating ‘dating’ he started getting weird and now we are back to being ‘just friends’ so that we ‘don’t ruin our friendship.’ If I view this from the perspective of the book, “He’s Just Not That Into You” I come to the conclusion that he really isn’t into me as anything more than a friend. And unless I’m fooling myself, there are many outside factors here that can easily contribute to this ‘dating confusion’ that I have going on here. Take for instance instead of what he DOES do, instead of what he DOESN’T do. On days that he isn’t working he will randomly call to ‘check in’ as he puts it, even if it’s only to talk with me for two minutes, just to see how I am doing. Keeping in mind that we live several hours apart now that I have moved, when we do see each other, he makes frequent lingering eye contact, he can’t seem to keep his eyes off me, and while he doesn’t make any moves to hold my hand or kiss me, there is an awful lot of very close and ‘accidental’ touching and body contact. His body language speaks volumes when I can see it. He leans in close to me, and for someone who hates being touched, he never pulls away when I touch him. He is, more often than not, very much within my bubble. The days that he is working, he seldom calls, seldom talks to me. But even then, on occasion I get random texts asking how I am, telling me how he is, funny smart-ass comments about people he’s dealing with. The times that he does call, we tend to be on the phone for hours. We’ll talk most of the night away.

Who’s to say that someone can’t have feelings that are so overpowering that they actually are scary? And do these books take this into consideration? Well, they claim they do. They say men will risk rejection because it’s in their nature and the end result just might be worth it. They say that men will not let being ‘just friends’ and ‘ruining a friendship’ interfere with what they want. But can this ALWAYS be the case?

Hard Times

Everything is difficult right now.

I am very confused as to what road I am going down in life. I have just graduated and all my friends have dispersed back around the U.K leaving me in a new house, with new flat mates who I have little in common with. I am living with my girlfriend for the first time, have an extremely part time job that pays a measly half of my rent a month and no other jobs have got back to me save for an unpaid journalism one that swaps reviews and articles for gig tickets.

I worry I will have to move back home. I worry that I will become a financial burden on my girlfriend. I worry the stress will break us up.

I have been offered the chance of a post graduate course but I have no savings and would have to get out a loan. The course would teach me a lot and would give me a better chance of a job afterwards. I worry about the debt but feel in a catch 22.

My girlfriend and I have been arguing. We have argued about her being nice to a friend of mine when she used to bitch and complain about him behind his back. Now they are pally when my relationship with him is frosty. He has a very cruel humour and makes the same snide jokes about me which my girlfriend laughed along with and encouraged him. With my lack of morale right now it was not needed and I have been avoiding this friend since. Alex meanwhile has been getting more matey with him and then accused me of self absorption and jealousy when the reality is I don’t want to hang out with a friend who will put me down for not having a job even though I graduated and he earns 16,000 a year in his bar job after failing the first year of university twice. He also repeatedly mocks other things about me because when he first met me I could not cook and needed his help to learn. To be frank he is a know it all fuck all.

Alex and I have also been arguing about other stupid things like her spending time dyeing her hair for hours and not spending time with me when it was my last day with her before going home for the weekend. She argued that I was upset over something silly but it was more that she took over our room that time and I was stuck in the lounge with the house mate who drives us both insane. Plus she said she would show me her hair as soon as it was done only for me to see she had put posey photo’s of herself up on facebook to show it off to other people. I know it’s stupid and petty. It also drives me mad that it is O.K for her to put up these pouty, sultry photo’s of herself alone but when I put my display photo of myself making a goofy face she accused me of wanting to be perceived as single!!

Just had to get that out. Hopefully things will be clearer tomorrow.

Joey.

Mommy and Daddy??

I’m skipping ahead a little since my last post but it seemed more necessary to get to the point. Cory and I will have been together 5 months tomorrow and we are already on our second pregnancy ‘scare’. I’ve never been regular growing up but have been getting acupuncture treatments to help regulate myself and its been working great but now I’m 12 days late. Granted with the acupuncture its not always exactly 28 days but its usually pretty close. I’ve been getting symptoms of my period for over a week now yet I still haven’t gotten. I’ve taken three tests which were all negative, but it still hasn’t calmed our nerves. We are always very careful but things do happen (i.e. condom tears, slips off, etc). Neither one of us are really ready to be parents yet, I am more that he is. I’ve had years of experience taking care of other peoples children and he doesn’t know the first thing about kids. He is in the process of building a house and this is totally unplanned. We have discussed it and will make things work no matter what. Then we got on the subject of marriage..is he ready? No. Am I ready? Absolutely. Sometimes I worry though–we’ve been together 5 months and haven’t had a single fight–no argument, no disagreement, nothing. Is this a good sign? Or is a huge blow up inevitable?? I already know he is the one I want to marry, but its also a matter of how soon is too soon?? Nothing like getting my mind off marriage but going to a wedding with him this weekend…

Addicted to Your Ex? It’s Blocking New Love!

You know the drill. You’ve broken up with your ex maybe you’re even divorced for a few years already. But you still have nobody in your life. Then something big happens to you and since you don’t have a new love interest, the first person you think of to share with is your ex. So you call/email/text him or her.

Is it because you want to get them back? I don’t think so. You know as well as I do that you left them for a good reason. But still you contact the ex. The memories of what it felt like to have a true love are addicting.

But like any addiction, you must change your behavior and surround yourself with new friends if you want to truly recover.

Creating good feng shui to support your recovery and help attract a new love opportunity means removing all memorabilia attached to former lovers from your environment. Get rid of all old photos, gifts, clothing, etc from your ex. Find out more at my Feng Shui By Fishgirl blog.

Kurt

Kurt,
I love you so much
I love you with all of my heart
I will never get over the feeling that I have so strongly for you
I just keep thinking about how if I would ever lose you how I would spend the rest of my life trying to get you back
And thinking about how my life will never be complete with out you in it
Kurt you are my world
You are my strength
You are the reason that I get up ever morning
You are the reason that I want to live
You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me
I just keep thinking of the mistakes that I have made in our relationship
And how I would go back to take them all away
I know that we will have our little fights and arguments
Every argument that we have kills me inside
But all that I can think of is’
In the end will we remain together?
And I know that you will be there for me when I need you the most
You sit there and say that I do not love you
But you got it all wrong
I love you more and more each day
I love you more and more with every breath that I take and with every smile that I make
Everyday I think of how I want to spend the rest of my life with you
I sit here everyday just waiting to hear your voice and waiting to hear your laugh
I know that you have been hurt before
But there is nothing that I can do about that
Just because of that I just want you to know that I don’t love you any less
Babe I just want you to know that I love you and will forever more
Nothing that anyone can say will ever make that change

BRENTON AND KURT MEAN THE WORLD TO ME IF YOU EVER HURT ONE OF THEM YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME…I LOVE MY SON AND MY BOYFRIEND….

A new day…a new question…

It amounts to the degree of wherewithall and awareness one possesses as to how many questions we have regarding where we might stand in our relationship, if one exists. One confident gent may declare his firm foothold with the girl of his heart while in reality she’s been trying to elude the task of telling him to ‘Beat it’ for some time. Another may have too many questions and that would surely be an indicator as to something being amiss. Don’t frustrate yourself and don’t sabotage yourself either. Set up ways to open up the 2 of you as a topic and find out just where you stand by making it easy on her. She’ll appreciate it if done gracefully and this will be an opportunity to gain the necessary insight into your relationship. Could be a simple oversight and something repairable or a chance to move apart from one another before it’s really too late…

Maintaining self esteem and self improvement to get your ex back!

Since you Broke up Is your personal life in an uproar? how is your self esteem? you feeling a little less confident than normal? Nearly everyone has room for self improvement . Granted some need  it more than others do…..  I wonder if your ex thinks you do? is that why they left?

Ask yourself seriously and honestly… ” what can I improve either for myself or to get my ex back?” Maybe compiling a list of things that you do and don’t like about yourself could help. Make sure you prioritize The Dont Like List making the most important one on top and the less important on the bottom. Everyday work on this list checking off each one as you feel it is getting  Much better. Remember don’t stop improving them just because you’ve put a check beside it. It takes time to make changes but you can do it. And Dont Forget To carry On doing The “DO LIKE” list too.

To Keep up yourself esteem and prove your worth to yourself its important to keep yourself busy and stay focused…. Put a bit extra into your Work or if by any chance you are unemployed why not volunteer if need be? (not only will this keep you busy, do the community a favour, it will also impress the hell out of the ex) Get busy and don’t just lie around the house doing nothing. Helping others always helps you too. By helping others, you Quickly get to realise that someone else in the world has it worse than you do. A job always helps especially if you are stressed out about losing your ex without having to worry about paying a bill when there is no money to pay.    Big Thing To Remember Every dollar you make is one dollar more than you had yesterday. And Although Money Cant Buy Happiness, it allows you to pursue activities and entertainment When you are newly split to take your mind off of things.

(Volunteering to work at the library or Local Hospital Is Very Rewarding and a great means of meeting new friends and aquaintances.)

Another important part of your daily “pick me up” routine should be that you take a little time out of each day for yourself. You Wont be of any use or be attractive  to other people if you don’t take care of yourself. Try to make enough time to fill yourself a  hot bath bath full of bubbles and relax, go for a walk alone or maybe go to the library and read, bring a book home to read and relax. A little something for yourself each day  that is enjoyable but not stressfull really helps to relax you and it can make you feel better.

Exercise is not only a great way to keep your mind occupied and if you’re not already doing it ,try it and see how it helps relieve stress. Very Shortly, you’ll notice how you will look forward to exercising alone or with a friend. If you walk with a friend don’t talk about your  relationship problems, Walk Briskly and talk about the weather or maybe something you’re going to do for ”you” tomorrow. Its Amazing how quickly you’ll notice how much better you feel getting out and taking care of yourself..

Try And Get out Once or twice a week to see old friends and aquaintances Get out of the house and be with a friend other than cleaning house when you’re at home. If because of your ex relationship you no longer have many friends go make some new ones. Meeting friends is something you can do when you’re volunteering etc When at the library talk to the librarian when you are checking out that book.  Take time out to pass the time of day with the checkout operator at the supermarket, Public Benches in Densely populated market areas for examples are usually good for a Informal conversation or two.New friends can be anywhere if you’re willing to talk. You are not Going to  make a new friend every time you talk to someone; but it passes the time of day pleasently and keeps the mind occupied.
One important thing to remember is that life is far too short, if you need a little improvement here and there, that’s ok. No one is perfect and you can only change the quality of life you have, but do it now before its too late…. Who knows the Changes may be what your ex was hoping for?

Love him forever

I’m afraid to give you my all, I’m afraid to love you completely. But the truth is I have given you my all, And I do love you completely there is no other person I want more than I want you.. and the reason it always comes down to losing you is because I’m so deeply afraid of losing you.

I love you because I know you’re always there… there to catch me when I fall… there to listen when I need you, there when I feel alone. I love you because you understand me… you know how I feel even when I can’t say it… you know I’m not as strong as I say and still you never let me know that I’m not fooling you. I love you because you make me believe, believe that I am not worthless… believe that i am worth it.. that I am beautiful, because when I’m with you i feel like the prettiest girl in the world..believe that I can be loved, am loved, and can love others. I love you because you know, you know I feel this way but can’t say it and still you wait… letting me take my time to come to terms with the fact that I love you… would give my life up to be with you… and above all… never hurt you… lie to you… or leave you. Now I hope you understand.

Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is, I LOVE YOU I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your amazing smile, I love the way you walk, I love your eyes, I love what you look like when you are asleep, I love the sound of your laugh, to hear your voice fills my entire heart with an indescribable feeling. I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I love how when you touch me I get weak, that is my problem…

Maybe it’s the way you grab my hand and hold it… or the way you kiss me… or maybe it’s the way you let me put my arms around you… maybe it’s the way you look at me… and your smile just makes me melt… maybe it’s the way we can text for hours about absolutely nothing but I still feel like I just had the best conversation of my whole life… maybe it’s the way that I want to break down and cry when I think about how you hold me up on a pedestal… maybe that’s it… that makes me want you so much.. maybe that’s what makes me miss you so much.. maybe that’s why I’m so afraid of losing you.. maybe your my world.. maybe when you touch me, hold me, look at me, even when your around me I’m happy maybe you are just the most amazing thing in the world.. maybe I love you with all my heart..
The truth is you make me happy.. I fall more in love with you every day (:
Kevin Cody Wyatt you have my heart <3

Who Will You Choose?

We were asked to write an essay back in high school, with the topic, “Who will you choose? The one you love or the one who loves you?” After we wrote it, the class had a debate about who will they choose. Many answered they will choose the one they love. The teacher asked, “what if that person doesn’t love you?” We were floored, as most of us were at a lost for words.

Years later, until now, I still don’t know the answer to it. Will I choose the one I love or the one who loves me? I found myself asking this question because I’m torn between two guys: my long-time best friend, whom I really love, and a guy who loves me. The guy who loves me treats me well and cares for me, but the guy I love is only learning how to open up his heart to me. He is stubborn and self-centered. He is also my best friend.

The guy I love, I’ve been with him since we were little, and we’re like buddies. Then I found myself falling for him. I tried to send signals to him, but he never noticed it. Then this other guy came, and we started dating. My best friend started to drift apart from me. One day, I confronted him about it. He said he can’t bear to see me with another guy. He said he likes me more than a friend. I got mad at him, saying that when I was the one liking him, I was sending signals to him, but he never really noticed it, and tried to push me away. I told him I was tired of this game, and walked away from him.

Now I’m really confused. I don’t know what to do. I’m still dating the other guy, but I’m not talking anymore with the other guy. I miss my best friend so much. I realized he still weighs more in my heart than the other guy. I wish he’ll come up to me one day. Only then will I truly realize what my heart wants to tell me, then I will follow my heart.

Were You “Dumped” Because You Were Too Obsessive and Controlling Toward Your Ex?

We’ve all done it, to a degree. Some only briefly, while others develop a habit of sorts. What am I talking about? To commit the relationship “sin” of being controlling and obsessive toward your boyfriend or girlfriend. Perhaps this particular “sin” is why you now find yourself single.

This behaviour often begins to take shape around the short to mid-term stages of dating, right at the point where you find yourself most “in-love” and the happiest you’ve ever been. A common sign is that you’ll spend as much time together as damn near possible. Outsiders will look in and think, “yuck!” although I’m sure they, too, have been where you are, or will do. But I digress. The issue is this; the thought of losing him or her, perhaps to another, terrifies you so completely that you lose all sense of proportion (and sometimes dignity, too.)

That’s When The Monster Takes Hold…

It is quite probable that, at this point, your focus on the world got real narrow, and almost exclusively fixated on your (now ex) partner. You may not have realized it, but he or she became your whole world and, as hard as this is to accept, in your obsession you traded in all sense of perspective. In a sense, you became a different version of yourself.

If I were a betting man, I’d wager that you soon developed unhealthy “notions” about your ex, and other people around you. And unfortunately, it’s quite likely you saw things that were not really there, almost as though your rational mind took frequent short-breaks. For example, you might be out together, say clubbing, but you won’t like how other guys or girls are looking at your ex. You hate that they might see what you do, or that they are “undressing your ex with their eyes,” flirting…and wait, is your ex encouraging it? Ah…maybe, maybe not. The point is, you are not coming from a stable place to judge because of the extremely narrow view you’ve adopted.

As a result of your obsessive and controlling behaviour, your ex will have felt suffocated. Desperately seeking breathing space, they may become distant with you, but in your state this only makes you more clingy, and so you further suffocate your boyfriend or girlfriend until they can’t take it any more and breakup with you. Does that sound at all familiar? While the specifics will be unique for you and your situation, the outline will be true for many.

When the person you love becomes your “one and all,” in the unhealthy sense, the damage potential for yourself is much greater. If he or she was “all your world” and more, then to be abandoned by them, to no longer be intimate with them…or the thought they might be intimate with another? Ouch. It’s hard enough to go through this under normal conditions, all rejection hurts; but from an emotionally unbalanced, obsessive and controlling state…you feel an even greater, more exaggerated loss. Do you see now the unfortunate position you find yourself in?

Two Paths After You Broke Up

When your ex felt crowded by you, which may have been for a while, the smartest thing to have done at the breakup point, is to give them the space they so desire. By extension, the worst thing you could have done would be to increase your intensity and crowd him or her further. The former removes stress from the situation, creating space and opportunity for a willing return. The latter adds stress, causes more damage, and pushes them even further away with more resolve to stay away.

It’s cruel, but out of the 2 paths above, which do you think is the more popular? Yes, it’s the 2nd. I’ve already said I’m not a betting man…but odds are good that you also chose the 2nd path, calling and texting your ex multiple times each day, adding pressure to the situation rather than taking it away. The thing is, you’re only acting and behaving in the manner you feel most natural. You are not forcing yourself. You’re driven to do it by your volatile emotions which are bubbling away under the surface. It’s miserable, but you are suffering great pain and the breakup has sent your life into a spin. Bottom-line: it’s not reasonable to expect anyone under your conditions to act any different without a strong prod or two in the right direction.

Your Next Steps

Almost irrespective of what you’ve done up till now, there’s still the chance you both will reunite again into a stronger couple, without either of you displaying those aforementioned unhealthy traits. What that chance will be, though, depends largely on what you do next. Will you prepare, soak up critical knowledge, and action what you learn? Those who do, greatly increase their chance of success. And not just in getting back together, but in staying together too.

The obvious place to start is on the unhealthy obsessiveness you have with your ex. Naturally, you first want to cease contacting him or her, and give them the space they need. Space here includes emails and text messages. This step requires willpower, and some of you may even refuse to do it at all! I won’t say “ignore this at your peril,” though I might think it (wink.)

Following the above, you might want to try and turn down the “my ex is everything,” dial, and turn up the “me and the rest of the world,” dial. You want to widen your focus a little, so you no longer hold that narrow-view of only your ex. It is quite likely that in the process of narrowing your view on him or her, you excluded your friends and family from your life. Well, now is your opportunity to reverse this unfortunate side-effect. At this fragile time in your life, you want to have friends and family around you.

Weaning yourself off your ex is no easy task. It is a tendency after the breakup to hold a better-than-reality version of your ex in your mind. What about you, are you glossing over many of their not-so-ideal aspects? This really doesn’t help your cause. As such, some people find it helpful to purposely identify all the bad points of their ex, even going so far as to write a list they can later refer to. Having a little reminding of how “normal” they are can really help address this common phenomenon.

It’s crucial you get control of your emotions if you are to succeed in both winning your ex back, and keeping them. Many couples reunite, but those who do not resolve the original problem(s) are likely to find themselves single again. And fast. Make certain this is not you.

Define Love

Defining Love; Love is a universally understood concept, yet one that has no true definition. Love is a feeling that can be felt by all human beings, yet not a single one can come up with a solid definition. How then can we define love?

c For some it’s showering their partners with gifts and material possessions. For others, its’ as simple as making their partners’ favorite meal, or helping out where they can. Others choose to use their creative sides, and come up with songs and poems to express what they feel inside. By all these examples, it is true to say that love exists in many forms, and as such can be explained in very many human aspects.

Every language and culture speaks of love as a basic human emotion; one that we can’t live without. We feel a different love for our spouses and partners, another for our friends and family, and yet another for our children. It is truly that something so universal can be expressed in so many manifestations; ones that cannot be logically explained.
The love felt between a man and a woman is something different from that a mother feels for her child. The latter case needs less explanation, it just is. It is the former that we as human beings have for years endlessly tried to accurately describe, to no avail. The process of choosing a partner is so natural that both parties instinctively know that they are feeling love for each other. We often try to come up with “logical explanations” (think scientists and their chemical pheromones theories), that often seem to take the mystique of love away.

As I stated before, love manifests differently for different people. That said there are those who seem to think that it should be shown through material possessions. This is not bad, only that it comes off as trying to buy love. And that is not the way to properly show love.
Love is a deep feeling that requires one to open themselves up to their partners. This involves the risk of not getting the love reciprocated and in some cases, even getting rejected. This is not to say that we shouldn’t try. In fact, it is this “wildcard” nature of love that makes it so interesting for mankind. Many of us don’t take the risk, and thus end up never experiencing true love. If you want to testify to true love feelings, then you have to let your fears go.

Love at first has been perpetuated by some as true love. This is misleading, as the only feelings that give rise to such fast relationships are lust and infatuation. These come in the form of crushes; a common occurrence among teenagers and young adults. Real love relationships take time to build and foster, and as such you can say that love cannot be rushed.
All the above has been leading to my perception of what love is. Rather than give a straight-forward definition of love, I will give what I believe to be the cornerstones of sharing and fostering love in a relationship; trust, honesty, patience, kindness, humility, enduring and hopeful. These are the virtues we should all strive to show our love by.
It is not easy to wake up one morning and attest to having all these virtues. Love takes time to grow, and with these virtues as your foundation, your love will surely stand the test of time. Strive not to accurately define love, but rather let it reflect in your actions.

Can we overcome memories of our first love?

First Love an ever lasting memory?

W.H. Auden mentioned, A false enchantment can all too easily last a lifetime. First love could happen at any age. Rosemary Rogers said, First romance, first love, is something so special to all of us, both emotionally and physically, that it touches our lives and enriches them forever. On the other hand, George Bernard Shaw held that first love is a little foolish and a lot of curiosity. Memories of first love are always delicious. Very few experiences in our lives are as intense and overwhelming as our first love.

First love in teenage is much more fierce than the first love in adulthood. However, the teenage love usually evaporates very fast. A survey result reveals that first love relationships last only for 3 or 4 months for persons at the age of 15. Psychologists identify the 3 phases of first love as lust, attraction, and attachment. The close intimacy developed during the period of first love must necessarily involve openness, trust and a sharing attitude. This would lead to maturity and help the relationship last longer.

Normally first love is not the childhood infatuation on a teacher or a movie star. It is the first relationship or attraction of a romantic nature experienced in adolescence. Memories of first love are mostly fond ones but in certain cases, the memories could be highly painful also. Those who had experienced feelings of happiness, enthusiasm, excitement, and pride in their first love are much more likely to have stable, enduring relationships in their later lives. On the other hand, those who went through feelings of shame, guilt, hostility or fright during their first love tend to have weak relationships with others.

Even though it is true that we could fall in love any number of times in our life, the memories of first love would always remain fresh and occupy a special place in our hearts. A Turkish proverb says that young love is from the earth, and late love is from heaven. When we are young, we have high energy levels and our hormones are on overdrive. This could lead to an exhilarating feeling but there are dangers if emotions are not properly controlled at this stage. The obvious dangers are premature pregnancy, HIV, drug addiction, etc. Still, one danger that most people never consider is a wrong relationship. Unless you are clear as to what you expect from your first love, you might end up only with a sad experience.

In the initial stages of first love, we tend to ignore our own needs and desires and give priority to the wants of the other person. However, as time passes by, this becomes more and more difficult to practice and resentment or anger sets in. This leads invariably to parting of ways. Hence, it is important to analyze all the positive and negative aspects of the other person and evaluate them deeply before deciding whether you are really in love with that person.

Psychologists hold that love at first sight is quite possible. However, first sight love purely depends on our mental status at that particular moment. It might take only 30 seconds to decide whether the other person is really worth falling in love with. Psychologists say that men fall in love first more than women do. When we fall in love, we unconsciously wish to complete our personality and therefore, we look for qualities in the other person that we feel we lack. To a certain extent, men look for the qualities of their mothers in women they like to fall in love with. Same way, women also seek qualities of their fathers in men they wish to love.

We have to remember that we are emotionally virgins until we fall for the first time in love. Hence, the first love tends to have a much greater effect on our lives, whether we admit it or not. It is very difficult to be prepared for first love because it is a sudden experience. The emotional experiences that go with first love are very strong. We have to learn to understand them, sort them out and control them. Feelings of passion, elation, sincerity, anxiety, fear all come in a mixed fashion. If the first love ends on a happy note, then it poses no further problems. On the other hand, if the first love fails for any reason, the legacy that it leaves behind could be painful. We have to learn our lessons from that to have much healthier relationships in our later part of life.

For many people, first love is their work. For such persons, the emotional attachment to their profession is very strong. They usually tend to ignore other human relationships or take them in a lighter vein. Most of them remain single in their life, devoting themselves totally to their work, which is their passion.

I Love You

I Love You, in 50 different languages - The ways to say, “I love you” are so many as there are languages. Here you can find "I Love You" in 50 different languages. In every language this sounds different and also that depends on languages intonation, for that reason “I love you” can sound tenderly, a little hard or even rudely. The phrase “I love you” has different length in the other languages. It can be only one word or more than four or five words. Every one will be happy to hear the words “I love you” from someone, who is close to him. It’s very nice and one big surprise for your girlfriend/boyfriend to say her/him “I love you” in 50 different language

I love you ... There are many things that you can use to make sure that you will make the person near you feel loved, but the best among all of them is to simply tell him or her, 3 simple words – “ I love you”. Furthermore, if you manage to learn the 50 different ways to say I love you, you will be able to make really pleasant surprise for your partner. If you do not know how to do that, here I will help you in order to find some of the most common translations of the phrase “I love you” in 50 different languages. “I love you” can sound like this:

1. I love you in Bulgarian – Obicham te ;

2. in Belarusian – Ya tabe kahayu ;

3. in Bangla – Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi ;

4. in Cantonese Chinese – Ngo oiy ney a ;

5. I love you in Catalan – T`estimo ;

6. in Cheyenne – Ne mohotatse ;

7. in Chichewa – Ndimakukonda ;

8. in Creole – Mi aime jou ;

9. in Croatian – Volim te ;

10. I love you in Czech – Miluji te ;

11. in Danish – Jeg elsker dig ;

12. in Dutch - Ik hou van jou ;

13. in Esperanto – Mi amas vin ;

14. in Estonian – Ma armastan sind ;

15. I love you in Ethiopian – Afgreki` ;

16. in Farsi – Doset daram ;

17. in Filipino – Mahal kita ;

18. in Finnish –Mina rakastan sinua ;

19. in French – Je t`aime/ Je t`adore ;

20. I love you in German – Ich liebe dich ;

21. in Greek – S`agapau ;

22. in Gujarati – Hoo thunay prem karoo choo ;

23. in Hawaiian – Aloha wau ia oi ;

24. in Hebrew – Ani ohev otah (to female) and Ani ohev et otha (to male) ;

25. I love you in Hindi – Hum tumhe pyar karte hae ;

26. in Hmong – Kuv hlub koj ;

27. in Hopi – Nu` umi unangwa`ta ;

28. in Hungarn – Szeretlek ;

29. in Icelansic – Eg elska tig ;

30. in Indonesian – Saya cinta padamu ;

31. in Irish – Taim i`ngra leat ;

32. in Italian – Ti amo ;

33. I love you in Japanese – Aishiteru ;

34. in Kannada – Naanu ninna preetisuttene ;

35. in Korean – Sarang heyo ;

36. in Latin – Te amo ;

37. in Latvian – Es tevi miilu ;

38. in Malay – Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu ;

39. in Mandarin Chinese – Wo ai ni ;

40. in Navaho – Ayor anosh`ni ;

41. in Norwegian – Jeg elsker dek ;

42. in Persian – Doo-set daaram ;

43. in Pig Latin – Lay ovlay ouyay ;

44. in Polish – Kocham Ciebie ;

45. in Portuguese – Eu tea mo ;

46. in Romanian – Te ubesk ;

47. in Russian – Ya tebya liubliu ;

48. I love you in Serbian – Volim te ;

49. in Slovenian – Ljubim te ;

50. in Spanish – Te quiero / Te amo .

So, now you can make a surprise to your girlfriend/boyfriend, to your mother, father, to your best friend or to someone else, who you whish. That way you will make the person that you are in love with, feel a lot better. The reason for that is the fact that when you manage to tell someone, I love you, that you really love him or her in 50 different ways, he or she will see that you really love the person. Remember that to make sure that you will keep the love alive you will have to make everything possible to make some small surprises each day and there is no better present than to tell someone “I love you”.