Sometimes with all these so called “rules” of dating, I must admit I can be completely confused about what the heck I’m supposed to be doing. I also get confused when it comes to things such as telling if he “likes me” or if he’s “into me” or whatever it’s being called nowadays. And believe me in my quest for the knowledge to decipher everything that is going on in the mind of those men that I do decide to date, I have done so much research and book reading about the subject that if I could figure out the contradictions from book to book, I could write my own book.
So really here is the thing. As I have discovered in my continual quest, it is said that men who are interested in a woman will go out of their way to contact her. They will go out of their way to be with her. They will do all these amazing things that woman WANT them to do. They are attentive and caring, they want you to talk to them for endless hours, they never want to leave your side because they just can’t get enough, and on and on. But am I dating a human here? Or am I dating many clones of a single human? Can a guy really just be too busy with work and his life that even though he wants to call me, he just doesn’t have the time to call? What if this same guy meets all the ‘requirements’ of every other thing?
Here’s my confusion. As I stated prior, or maybe I didn’t, I have a ‘friend’ who I am very interested in. We have both been through horrible divorces and upon him one time initiating ‘dating’ he started getting weird and now we are back to being ‘just friends’ so that we ‘don’t ruin our friendship.’ If I view this from the perspective of the book, “He’s Just Not That Into You” I come to the conclusion that he really isn’t into me as anything more than a friend. And unless I’m fooling myself, there are many outside factors here that can easily contribute to this ‘dating confusion’ that I have going on here. Take for instance instead of what he DOES do, instead of what he DOESN’T do. On days that he isn’t working he will randomly call to ‘check in’ as he puts it, even if it’s only to talk with me for two minutes, just to see how I am doing. Keeping in mind that we live several hours apart now that I have moved, when we do see each other, he makes frequent lingering eye contact, he can’t seem to keep his eyes off me, and while he doesn’t make any moves to hold my hand or kiss me, there is an awful lot of very close and ‘accidental’ touching and body contact. His body language speaks volumes when I can see it. He leans in close to me, and for someone who hates being touched, he never pulls away when I touch him. He is, more often than not, very much within my bubble. The days that he is working, he seldom calls, seldom talks to me. But even then, on occasion I get random texts asking how I am, telling me how he is, funny smart-ass comments about people he’s dealing with. The times that he does call, we tend to be on the phone for hours. We’ll talk most of the night away.
Who’s to say that someone can’t have feelings that are so overpowering that they actually are scary? And do these books take this into consideration? Well, they claim they do. They say men will risk rejection because it’s in their nature and the end result just might be worth it. They say that men will not let being ‘just friends’ and ‘ruining a friendship’ interfere with what they want. But can this ALWAYS be the case?
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