Long Island Iced teas, without the island…

Yesterday I awoke in our little loft converted bedroom, still with friction burns and still feeling worried about my embarassing predicament. After a shower I went downstairs to find my love watching “Myth Busters”. I don’t know if you have ever watched it but it is a fascinating show in which, au naturelle, they bust myths. They do this usually with the help of a dead pig which will then be blown to pieces, as though having a stun gun shoved up its arse to frazzle it’s insides wasn’t humiliating enough.

We decided to go out. As usual an hour and a half later we were leaving the house. The problem was that I had noticed a mild bubbling in my tummy that was flirting with the idea of gushing out of me. After five minutes of walking I shook my head, pleaded defeat and said I would have to go home. Alex tutted and said “It’s just like going out with my Nan.” Wow, the old bowel and bladder took a beating on their pride right about there. With the innards feeling bruised I left her but kept turning round to see her still standing there watching me and smiling. She loves how I walk. I don’t know why.

I got to Sainsbury’s and shopped for lasagne and lager shandy’s to surprise Alex with when she got back from sorting her phone out. It has been broken forever. Well, by forever, I mean a week. I then rushed home, relieved myself, and then realised I had forgotten the mince. Cue journey two to Sainsbury’s.

I love cooking. I went to University having never tried brocolli or mushrooms, with a complete inability to cook anything other than processed foods. It was with the patience of my friends that I gradually improved and gained confidence which is good because girls love a good cook! Along with good looks and vast wealth… but two out of three aint bad as Meatloaf sang.

After our lasagne we went to our sort of new local for a long island iced tea. There was an annoying scruff bag boy behind the bar who, with his Jonny Borell hair and cardigan on top of a twee checkered shirt, clearly thought he could:

A) Sing

and B) crack hilarious jokes VERY LOUDLY.

When he passed us Alex gave him an almost teenaged look of disgust which made me laugh. She’s so cute. We decided to have a little serious discussion about the house and whether we want to stay there. Alex said “I like the house. I love our room. I love our street. But don’t like the area.” I said more or less the same. Plus the house mates are a far cry from what I am used to. I used to live with my student best friends. Now I live with rich professionals which leaves me feeling like some infantile peasant that should be shining their shoes. Alex said she wants to take me somewhere hot this November but I don’t want her paying for me. I am flat broke due to my lack of full time work and my constant confusion as to whether or not I should do a Masters.

We then spontaneously went ice skating, holding hands most of the time. Neither of us fell over, but a girl doing the moonwalk who shockingly didn’t have eyes in the back of her head nearly smashed into me. Talented idiot. We had been told bad things about the ice rink but don’t believe the hype. The few rude gyal’s there wouldn’t even let go of the wall and at one point Alex held hands with one to help her along. Two hours later we went home feeling refreshed to have cuddles and watch “The Life of David Gale”. I’d recommend it.

That’s about it for now.

Can those ‘dating rules’ really be trusted?

Sometimes with all these so called “rules” of dating, I must admit I can be completely confused about what the heck I’m supposed to be doing. I also get confused when it comes to things such as telling if he “likes me” or if he’s “into me” or whatever it’s being called nowadays. And believe me in my quest for the knowledge to decipher everything that is going on in the mind of those men that I do decide to date, I have done so much research and book reading about the subject that if I could figure out the contradictions from book to book, I could write my own book.

So really here is the thing. As I have discovered in my continual quest, it is said that men who are interested in a woman will go out of their way to contact her. They will go out of their way to be with her. They will do all these amazing things that woman WANT them to do. They are attentive and caring, they want you to talk to them for endless hours, they never want to leave your side because they just can’t get enough, and on and on. But am I dating a human here? Or am I dating many clones of a single human? Can a guy really just be too busy with work and his life that even though he wants to call me, he just doesn’t have the time to call? What if this same guy meets all the ‘requirements’ of every other thing?

Here’s my confusion. As I stated prior, or maybe I didn’t, I have a ‘friend’ who I am very interested in. We have both been through horrible divorces and upon him one time initiating ‘dating’ he started getting weird and now we are back to being ‘just friends’ so that we ‘don’t ruin our friendship.’ If I view this from the perspective of the book, “He’s Just Not That Into You” I come to the conclusion that he really isn’t into me as anything more than a friend. And unless I’m fooling myself, there are many outside factors here that can easily contribute to this ‘dating confusion’ that I have going on here. Take for instance instead of what he DOES do, instead of what he DOESN’T do. On days that he isn’t working he will randomly call to ‘check in’ as he puts it, even if it’s only to talk with me for two minutes, just to see how I am doing. Keeping in mind that we live several hours apart now that I have moved, when we do see each other, he makes frequent lingering eye contact, he can’t seem to keep his eyes off me, and while he doesn’t make any moves to hold my hand or kiss me, there is an awful lot of very close and ‘accidental’ touching and body contact. His body language speaks volumes when I can see it. He leans in close to me, and for someone who hates being touched, he never pulls away when I touch him. He is, more often than not, very much within my bubble. The days that he is working, he seldom calls, seldom talks to me. But even then, on occasion I get random texts asking how I am, telling me how he is, funny smart-ass comments about people he’s dealing with. The times that he does call, we tend to be on the phone for hours. We’ll talk most of the night away.

Who’s to say that someone can’t have feelings that are so overpowering that they actually are scary? And do these books take this into consideration? Well, they claim they do. They say men will risk rejection because it’s in their nature and the end result just might be worth it. They say that men will not let being ‘just friends’ and ‘ruining a friendship’ interfere with what they want. But can this ALWAYS be the case?

Hard Times

Everything is difficult right now.

I am very confused as to what road I am going down in life. I have just graduated and all my friends have dispersed back around the U.K leaving me in a new house, with new flat mates who I have little in common with. I am living with my girlfriend for the first time, have an extremely part time job that pays a measly half of my rent a month and no other jobs have got back to me save for an unpaid journalism one that swaps reviews and articles for gig tickets.

I worry I will have to move back home. I worry that I will become a financial burden on my girlfriend. I worry the stress will break us up.

I have been offered the chance of a post graduate course but I have no savings and would have to get out a loan. The course would teach me a lot and would give me a better chance of a job afterwards. I worry about the debt but feel in a catch 22.

My girlfriend and I have been arguing. We have argued about her being nice to a friend of mine when she used to bitch and complain about him behind his back. Now they are pally when my relationship with him is frosty. He has a very cruel humour and makes the same snide jokes about me which my girlfriend laughed along with and encouraged him. With my lack of morale right now it was not needed and I have been avoiding this friend since. Alex meanwhile has been getting more matey with him and then accused me of self absorption and jealousy when the reality is I don’t want to hang out with a friend who will put me down for not having a job even though I graduated and he earns 16,000 a year in his bar job after failing the first year of university twice. He also repeatedly mocks other things about me because when he first met me I could not cook and needed his help to learn. To be frank he is a know it all fuck all.

Alex and I have also been arguing about other stupid things like her spending time dyeing her hair for hours and not spending time with me when it was my last day with her before going home for the weekend. She argued that I was upset over something silly but it was more that she took over our room that time and I was stuck in the lounge with the house mate who drives us both insane. Plus she said she would show me her hair as soon as it was done only for me to see she had put posey photo’s of herself up on facebook to show it off to other people. I know it’s stupid and petty. It also drives me mad that it is O.K for her to put up these pouty, sultry photo’s of herself alone but when I put my display photo of myself making a goofy face she accused me of wanting to be perceived as single!!

Just had to get that out. Hopefully things will be clearer tomorrow.

Joey.