I am new to this website and am excited to get started on my blog! I am hoping that what I have to say not only helps others, but that what they have to say will also help me. I am very willing to share every aspect of my life, but upon doing so, I will attempt to remain anonymous and everyone will be given their own nicknames.
I am a single mother. I have been a single mother since June of 2006. It’s been very difficult for me from the beginning because although I was primarily a stay at home mom prior to my separation (I only worked part time), I never knew the amount of strength that it would take me to get through the trials that I have found waiting for me on this side of things.
I left my husband of seven years in June 2006 after finding out in May that he had been having a long term affair on me. I moved myself and my children to Idaho in June 2006. That was when we officially separated. I finally gave up every effort to make things work in December 2006. I went through all of 2007, struggling to make sense of my life. Going back and forth between dating and trying to make things work with him. My heart really wasn’t into doing either. After debating for a year about what to do, I finally decided to just take some “me” time and some time to be the mother to my children that had, through all of this, been missing for them. On April 1, 2008, I filed for divorce. In September 2006, I was able to finalize the divorce by default. It seemed that things would start getting better. However this began the constant cycle of him claiming that he missed me, that he wished we could make things work “for the sake of the children”, and that he “just wanted ‘us’ back again.” Talk that he still continues to this day.
Thus begins the newest chapter in my life. The ‘dating’ single mother…
I recently got back in touch with an old friend of mine, let’s just call him My Cute Boy. We have been friends through all of high school, crushing on each other back and forth through high school and until we both were engaged to be married. For nearly six years we never had a time where we were both ‘single’ together. Upon us both marrying, we lost touch for nearly seven years. Now, we are both divorced. We got back in touch and upon talking again, instantly hit things off as if we had never been separated, and began spending all our time together catching up on the seven years we had been apart. We started spending quite a bit of time together in deep conversations about everything, telling each other all the ins and outs of our respective divorces (his being much, much worse than I ever dreamed a divorce could be), all night telephone conversations, talking about things that bothered us, dinner, movies, and the confusing part….although we follow all the notions of ‘dating’ he continued to claim that we were not dating. In January 2006 I moved down to Utah and he arranged for him and three of his friends to come up to Idaho and move me and my boys down to Utah.
Then finally (six months after getting back in touch), after being on the phone for nearly three hours one night, he came out and asked me if I had ever thought about dating him. He told me that he really wanted to start ‘dating’ me and that he believed we should give it a try. Every single one of our mutual friends claimed that it was ‘obvious’ and that it was ‘inevitable’. No one was surprised by the fact that he finally put a name to what we were doing. The first night we spent together he told me that ‘I was everything that he was not’ he told me that ‘I filled in all his holes’ he said he thought that ‘We would be really good at this’ and that ‘We fit each other perfectly.’ He also told me that there was no one that he trusted enough to completely be himself around he said there was something about himself that he kept from everyone, one friend he didn’t be opinionated around, etc. and so I asked him what part of himself he didn’t allow me to see and after a very long pause, he replied that he ‘hadn’t figured that out yet because he trusted me with his emotions, his opinions, his true personality and generally himself.’ A mere three weeks later, he decided that we needed to stick to being just friends because he was afraid that we would ruin our friendship, he wanted to just be ‘friends that hung out together an awful lot’ and he had figured out what part of himself he didn’t allow me to see completely, his intimate side. And thus began the most dreadful confusion.
He began hanging out with me and my closest friends. Ones that he didn’t know. And every time he would make many comments that led everyone to believe that he was truly interested in being more than just my friend. My very good friend and her husband, let’s just call them My S.O. Friends, were with My Cute Boy and I at dinner and her hubby stated that since I was going to be moving back to Idaho, ‘There would now be something to *DO* in Idaho.’ My Cute Boy responded saying, ‘I’d go to Idaho to *DO* that!’ And the rest of us all almost blew our respective drinks straight through our noses. Thus begins the incredible confusion that has started my life with My Cute Boy, because to make a very long story short, I am completely head over heels in love with my very best friend…My Cute Boy.
